Patience

Ok, so far not off to a great start on writing everyday!! :) In my defense, we had a busy day yesterday!! It was our laundry/clean the house day, and on top of that, we had Rita (a friend of Bryan's from work) over for dinner! It was the 1st time I had ever met her, he started hanging out with her while I was in TX living. It was nice to know that Bryan had someone, other than family, that he could rely on in my absence! Anywho....yesterday I started think about my patience, or lack there of! I CAN NOT stand something to be put off, when I want it done NOW!! I know alot of people like this, but remember, I want to change that about myself (hopefully)!
Bryan defiantly is a great "partner", he helps with with the kids when he's home, he helps me clean and do laundry, and he'll even watch the kids so I can do the grocery shopping, banking ect..! But what Bryan doesn't do, (and here's where patience comes in) is have the desire to complete a project before taking a break. For example, yesterday he was doing the laundry, while I was cleaning (fantastic, like I said!), but, as he would take clothes out of the dryer he would just put them in the bedroom and then go sit down on the couch and watch TV. Now before I go any further I HAVE to put a disclaimer in here...mainly for my mother.....I USED to do that!!! And it USED to drive my mom crazy, but since I've been back in AZ I have not done that, I've put it away as I go, and mom, you are right, it does make it go faster!!! Ok, now that we got that out of the way....anyways, so Bryan would dump and sit!! So since we had company coming over and I wanted to complete all our chores before she got here I asked him if he would do it "my way for today". Long story short, he continued to sit on the couch watching TV. Well it pissed me off and I went to the bedroom to put away laundry as he continued to sit there and ignore me!! I cursed his name through about 30 hangers, and when I was done I was just infuriated that he sat there and did not help me!! I mean come on, I was trying to put together a nice homemade meal for "his" friend, clean "his" house, feed "his" kids....see where I'm going with this!! So after about 5 minutes of the silent treatment (another down fall of no patience, I don't take the time to cool off 1st) I let him have it!!! His response to me was that he had every intentions of putting away the laundry, just not when I DEMANDED him to do it!!! I thought, demanded him, yeah right, I did no such thing!!! But I did...what I thought of as a suggestion, was defiantly a demand on my part!! So see, I have no patience!!
As I reflect on this I've realized and wondered, how many people could I or have I hurt over the years because of this!! I know for certain I had no patience when I worked at BBW, if I asked on of my employees to do something and it didn't get done, I did it myself instead of asking why the project was not completed!! When I ask Austin to pick up his toys, I maybe give him 30 seconds and if he doesn't jump into action I start threatening to take those toys away!! And when Abbi whines (because she can't talk yet) for something and I don't know what it is, I take her to her room and let her whine in there!!! I have ZERO patience!! I'm not proud of it, but how do I change it!!?? Really what harm comes of a few toys being in the living room before Austin naps?? NOTHING!!!!! And yesterday, if the laundry wouldn't have gotten put away till 10pm, what harm would it have done? I mean Rita didn't hang out in our bedroom!!
So this is my new thought today.....medication!! Can I medicate myself into having patience!!?? :) I know that's not how it should be done, but how long will this take? I might burst at the seems trying to fix this about myself, but I will!! I owe to my wonderful husband, precious children and possible future employees to give this my attention!!